New Years Honours Twat List......

#3 Ricky Gervais.

How on Earth this fat, talentless turd gets awards beats the fucking shit out of me. The man is just NOT funny. When i was a youngster, i always used to wonder why, whenever the late Tommy Cooper came on the box, my old chick would get whichever one of us was nearest to it to "switch it over before i throw my fucking shoes at it". If you were there you would be forgiven for thinking that Cooper had done some personal wrong to my mum. It's only now, all these years later i know exactly how she felt. The guy is just fucking cringeworthy, most of the time you can't tell whether or not he is being serious because he seems to hide behind this permanent mask of sarcasm. Don't get me wrong, when people say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, my usual retort is that it is the ONLY form of wit, and people who say that are just jealous anyway because they have nothing witty to say. Sarcasm is fantastic but it is a tool, not a fucking career path, and he always seems to be playing it for laughs, you can see his ears pricking up waiting for the laughter.

Just for you Rick.....

Fuck off Gervais you smug arrogant cunt! The only thing you will ever be remembered for is dancing like Jabba the fucking Hutt on a fucking treadmill.

This sucks apple through a straw

Found this over at Fidos. Just thought it worth a look, anybody who takes this seriously needs to be shagged with it.

Frozen stiff

Been a while since i last posted due to my fucking hard drive packing up, nearly as big a twat as Terry cunting Christian. If i can't get into it then it looks like i'll have to buy a new one. Meanwhile, i'll have to use my daughters' pc, so i won't be posting much as it is really cramped in her bedroom, i'm six foot one and this is a two bedroom housing association shoebox we're living in. Also let's hope no trace of this fucking blog remains on her cunting computer where she can access the bastard thing, other wise she's going to get one fucking hell of a spunking english lesson isn't she?


I can't believe that none of you guys have covered this one. You have to laugh and feel sorry for him at the same time, unless he was a new labour cuntwhistle, in which case i heartily recommend you pour lashings of scorn and derision upon him. I nearly pissed my fucking knickers i was laughing that fucking hard at this in work today. I even forgot that i wanted so badly to snap the smelly ones spine.

Back as soon as

New actor confirmed to play Davros

Davros, creator of the Daleks is to be brought back for a new series of Dr. Who The Screech can reveal......


....oh fuck yeah!!! Was the man made for the part? Or was the part made for the man?

Hat tip to Tractor Stats for the inspiration.

2 girls, 60,441,457 mugs

I know the news is now a bit old hat, that Lord Gord says the British people should look to the spirit of the blitz or whatever it was that helped the country through the second world war, to help us weather this current financial crisis, but Gordon, don't you read the blogs? We are united in that same spirit and laughing in the face of adversity, only what you don't realise is that adversity is you, you soft cunt.



On a serious note, can anybody tell me who performs credit checks on the government? When any of us applies for a loan or mortgage or any financial service whatsoever, then naturally and quite shrewdly so, any responsible lender would do a credit check on said applicant and base their decision on what comes up on the files of Equifax or Experian or any other credit referance agency. Is anybody doing this with the government? The reason i ask is, that recently they decided they were going to borrow a not inconsiderable few billion pounds of our cash to throw at failing useless banks, to try and prop up the shit state economy caused mainly by the banks, and i don't recall being consulted about it or even informed that a credit check had taken place on the possibility of government borrowing our cash. Now i hear whispers that they are looking into the possibility of doing the same thing again, because it failed the first time. Has it gone on record at the credit referance agencies that they have defaulted on the first loan? Just asking....

Here's another one

I don't think this gentleman really merits any introduction on the stage of TWATdom.

Rory Mcgrath truly a TWAT among twats.

Bottom Line

Has been TV presenter Terry Christian just before entering Celebrity big brother on what he calls jealous people "err that bloke's a twat, bottom line is you want my gig."




Errr....no Terry, bottom line is, we really DO think you're a twat. You have TWAT written all over you, when it comes to twats you are unbelievably the king of TWATS. You make Lord Gord Almighty look almost insignifacunt on the scale of TWATABILITY. You sir are the Grand Poobah of the highest imperial order of TWATS to the Nth degree, in short sir you are a FUCKING TWAT.