Thursday, 30 April 2009

Stupid bint

I just got in from work at about 3.45 this afternoon, just settling down with a cup of coffee and a game of Tomb Raider Underworld, and i get a phone call off the Queer one telling me she had run out of petrol, and the nearest garage was about five minutes walk away. However she was afraid to go there and fill the jerry can in case she caught swine flu  (the latest trend amongst the youth, anybody who is anybody these days has it didn't you know? What rock have you been living under?) i said "you stupid, thick fucking cunt, it's in Mexico not fucking Texaco"

"Starved of attention at home, Jacqui seeks
solace in the arms of another."

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Phone fun

P.M. enraged as council refuse to recycle his old mobile phones.

Wishful thinking

There is always scope for hope.


With regards to my last post concerning Julie Andrews I mistakenly put her age as 79.

This should read 74, sorry Julie, vodka got the better of me.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Under rated beauty

I would just like to share a thought (although admittedly random) about a true, living classic beauty. And although she will be 79 this coming october, (no i have not got a penchant for grannies either, even though there are some canny looking boilers who are a few years older than me), i think she deserves a mention, especially as these days, the household names we know and love are dropping like flies around Gordons mouth. Partly inspired by our very own Tory Poppins, and also partly inspired by an idea for my next video, allow me to give homage to Julie Andrews.

From Mary Poppins, through Maria, to Queen Lillian in the Shrek films (via getting her  not too shabby baps out as Sally Farmer in S.O.B.) you have to admit, that Ms. Andrews has covered a wide spectrum of roles and played them admirably. It was only whilst watching Mary Poppins recently, that it came to my attention that this lady possesses true beauty and even in recent years, this has not really faded. My hat and my heart is tipped to a real living legend.

Celebrity twat list #8

So.....that vision of classic beauty, Susan Boyle, has disappeared up her own ample, fat arse already. She wants to be free from her Britain's got talent contract so she can go and make millions in the states before she appears on the show next in five weeks time.

Well, welcome to the fucking real world you dumb fucking bitch!!! A contract is a fucking contract, and just because your voice has become a phenomenon, it doesn't mean you can go off and do your own fucking thing if it says you can't. You signed it, they signed it, and as much as i hate Simon cunting Cowell, it is all above board, so fuck off thinking you're the diva already because you fucking aren't.......YOU'RE A 'GRADE A' TWAT!

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Celebrity twat list #7

I must say i'm appalled at the quality of the acts in this years Britain's got talent, the classic ITV Reality TV show that has in recent years replaced Songs of Praise and Highway as the staple sunday evening viewing diet of the common people. They were terrible, they were too in your face for a start, irritating voices, lack of charisma, so totally devoid of any talent whatsoever, that i had to switch over 5 minutes into the show. And don't even get me started on the fucking entrants.

Ant & Dec, a pair of cunting twats who are every-spunking-where

Friday, 24 April 2009

More Government felching windowlickery...

...this time comes from a Bristol Professor here. Though not in government, i still think him worthy of a "Honorary Hoonhood"  I propose the picture below, be used as a model for this award.

H/T to Bristol Dave who says "I wonder why it is that everyone who advocates charging higher prices for alcohol in order to "save us from ourselves" looks like they have no mates, and have never had a drink in their life?"

Couldn't have put it better myself Dave.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Dance of the Comedian

Very funny video over at THE CROWN BLOGSPOT

Made me snigger, any mockery of the One eyed, pant wetting, greenie gobbling, Scottish idiot of an unelected Prime Minister is welcome by me.

Send Gordon your shirt.

H/T to Old Holborn for this. If you have an old shirt you no longer wear then send it to

Gordon Brown,
10, Downing Street,

"Saves him ripping it off your fucking back!"

I have one and i shall certainly be sending mine as soon as i can get to the post office.

Sorry i omitted this bit.

UPDATE: The Libertarian Party are going to run this as a campaign . Wouldn't it be great if Downing Street received a few thousand shirts off peoples backs in the post this week?
Do it. Find an old shirt, stuff it in an envelope and spend a £1 sending it to the man who is costing your grandchildren thousands.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Fast Food Fucking Fascists.

Hat tip to Ranting Penguin for this one. Seems the local plods are finding it more important to use their precious time and resources on stopping kids (for kids read ANYBODY) having food that they consider tasty.

Let's take a look at this little gem shall we?  "A lot of fast food outlets do their business with school children, in competition with the healthy schools agenda".

"In competition with the healthy schools agenda"? One line that says it all about their authoritarian stance on all matters people related. What they are saying is that the kids are not allowed any choice except for what they, the council, decide is "good for them", the only choice is between one lot of tasteless, bland slop and another lot of even more tasteless, bland slop. Now i'm not saying that salads and such aren't healthy for anybody and if you enjoy the healthy option then fine, but i'll be fucked if i'm going to force any of my kids to NOT eat the odd burger or kebab now and then and i'll be even more fucked if i let the fucking local Food Fascists decide for me either.

"The fast food ban has not been adopted nationwide but its progress is being monitored by other local authorities who could copy it."

Do what? Ohhhh no they fucking don't!!! That's exactly the reason they put lines like this in all their fucking fascistic articles, in the hope that other authorities do copy them and their socialist utopian cancer is spread like a fucking plague across the country. So Newport City Cuntsil, you can just fuck off and go and read The Beano, Beanotown and especially Bash St. School are better models  to follow, and at least Olive the school cook knows how to serve up some decent crud. You aren't copying this bollocks and forcing your ideals onto my children

"i speet on your 'ealthy opshon"

Even our American friends are mocking him

The Prime Sinister is apparantly going to be starring in an episode of one of our favourite, most politically incorrect cartoons, South Park, according to this article.

Speaking to a news conference outside Shepperton Studios today, the Prime Mentalist slobbered "I am just being prudent and keeping many irons in the fire when considering the employment market situation these days, you never know when you are going to be out of a job, and providing they don't make me out to be a prize chump, then i may consider offering my services again in the near future as long as they respect mah authoritehhhh!!!!"

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Friday, 17 April 2009

Jacqui the CUNT.... someone we should all be grateful for having as a Home Secretary, after all who else would get people to sit there patiently sifting through our internet activities for key words such as bomb, assassinate, president, brown, Osama, Obama, Sargozy, Merkel, government, target, location, rocket, grenade, al-Qaeda, Pakistan, India, Afghanistan, UK, America, guns, jets, bombs, machine-gun, terrorists, MP's, pigs, troughs, France, Germany, Italy, nuclear, Korea, DNK, Bio Weapons, gas attack, Gordon Brown the unelected snot gobbling PM, infidel, kuffir, jihad, caliphate, umma...        I, for one, sleep so much safer at night knowing that Jacqui the CUNT is on the case.

CUNT!!! I'm out of vodka....

Jacqui, do us a favour love, on your way to your "lesser department", could you pop into the local Spar and get us a few litres of Russian Standard and a bottle of Diet Coke, don't worry about paying for it, just book it to expenses, oh and while you're there see if you can pick me up a couple of Jizz mags too, thanks Jacqui you CUNT.


Just to give an old pic of that sleazy, expenses fiddling  CUNT Jacqui Smith a new lease of life.....

....fat is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of being an outrageous CUNT.

Further to my last post....

.....just to make things abolutely CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR..... the Jacqui i referred to in the previous post is indeed our most esteemed and venerated (snicker) droopy titted second Home Secretary Jacqui fucking Smith, who is a CUNT!!!

Clear your throats AND SHOUT

Jacqui is a CUNT, there, ranted. Check Old Holborn for full story.

Update... Jacqui is still most definitely a FUCKING CUNT

Recession? What recession?

I think the special offers at Asda are getting fucking ridiculous, a shelf stacker just tried to roll back my foreskin.

Funniest joke ever?

Well i wouldn't go so far as to say that but, as written in The Telegraph  "but we think there is something special about the combination of a slightly rude joke coming out of the mouth of an 81-year-old gentleman." Keps me chuckling anyway.

I call a spade a spade..

 I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki. It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a labour politician a thieving, snivelling, trough nosing cunt.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009


"Alas poor Dolly, i knew her well..."

Hat tip to G.O.T. for the news.

Room for a little one?

Had an hour spare so here goes. FAT CUNTS!!!

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Is it just me.....

....or is anybody else smelling the end for this stinking shower of shit that has the tenacity to call itself a  fucking government?

Monday, 13 April 2009

Get the message yet Gord?

More great work from GOT 

no idea why.... was banned

Some people just have NO sense of humour whatsoever.

Just humour

Nothing of note to post

So i just went to you tube

Sunday, 12 April 2009

A bit late but....

....the more people that get to see this ingenious piece of work by Grumpy the more chance some jizz-monkey from new labour will see it. Exactly what the internet was designed for.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Darwin award for Harpie

Harman whinging on about the BNP

"Most people are not aware the BNP is standing," she said. "It is below the radar. There is very low public awareness of these elections."  Low  public awareness that was until She started whining about it, what better way to bring attention to it. If there is such ""low public awareness" why is she worrying i wonder?


I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women. I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.

My mother died at an early age from cancer. Later in life, questions arose over my real name. My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and did not follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them. That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30's then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a gold tongue and could talk to anyone and motivate them. That reinforced my conceit. I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organisation. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I was a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.

I drew large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy, then on change. I was very critical of my country in the war and seized every opportunity to bash my country. But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy and the need for change. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed and housed for free.

I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks and corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate these institutions and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight. I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to people.

I was the surprise candidate. I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support. I knew that, if I merely offered the people "hope," together we could change our country.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities."

My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader. I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with.

I'm glad they didn't as I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I?



Thursday, 9 April 2009

Special relationship

It is with great delight that i shamelessly lift this pic from Grumpys' blog. Fucking awesome, i just wondering who is really shafting who, well apart from the unelected shafting us that is.

Gotta love 'em

So the baton happy scumbag sorry dedicated officer who potentially clubbed Ian Tomlinson to the ground potentially causing his potential death has come forward to be counted. "At least he has the spine to own up to his unthinking actions" i hear you say? Not a fucking chance. He only came forward when the video footage showing the incident came into the public view. And then it was not until two days after it was shown.

Last night, a Scotland Yard spokesman said "Earlier today a Metropolitan Police Service Officer identified himself to his team leader as being potentially involved in the incident shown on the video" Potentially? What the fuck does he mean by potentially? If the man wasn't there in the first place he would have had no reason to put himself forward would he?

"A total of four MPS officers, inclusive of this officer, have now come forward with potentially relevant information" There he goes with his fucking "potentially" again. What he means is that unless one of the cops present blows the whistle, there is really no way of identifying the culprit and they are therefore most likely to get off scot free. I notice that all the other officers present are lying low.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

To protect and serve? Yeh right.

Hope they get the cock happy bastard sorry over zealous officer responsible for this, haul his arse over a barrel, and sack the cunt with no pension or fuck all, then make him rot in prison along with Big Bad Rufus, the biggest, baddest black lifer you ever done clapped eyes on.  

Notice how the rest of them all stand back then when they realize it is all being caught on film. Cunts are no longer there for us, not that we needed any more evidence of that anyway. Fucking cunts the lot of them.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Draper stropping

Found on youtube

Just thought it might keep you amused till my next monstrosity is uploaded.

More from the Wonderful world of Gordi

Another example of fine art from Grumpys place

Friday, 3 April 2009

Another week over....

Been to busy fucking about with Windows Movie Maker to post, so i just thought i'd nick this pic from Sues place, where there are also some very funny, politically incorrect jokes.