Tuesday, 3 March 2009


One thing (or many as is really the case) that really fucks me off while i'm out, traipsing along behind the Queer One while she does her regular bank account depletion exercises,(shopping) is what is known as a chugger or charity mugger. They pull you aside while you are walking down the high street wishing the trip was over and ask "excuse me sir, do you think you can spare a few kilos of your hard earned cash sorry, moments of your time" or "we wonder if you'd be interested in sponsoring an earthworm, you can have a picture of your earthworm every six months, i promise". But the worst kind are the ones who are there, with the "yoof of today" hanging round at the checkouts in supermarkets asking if you want help with your packing and you can bet a fiver to a pinch of shit that there is a large white bucket, in anticipation of your generosity and trying to make you feel like a general uncaring bastard if you don't make make that bucket rattle with your spare coinage. But they don't do it with words mind. just a general air of "if you don't give all the people around here will look at you and think you're a tight cunt and all the hard working efforts of the local yoof rugby team to raise money for whatever shit they come up with has been wasted."

Well boo fucking hoo. Truth? I Couldn't give a parrots puffy pissflaps about charities except for one which is the NSPCC. Don't get me wrong, there are many worthwhile organizations out there who do great work and are worth donating to, but i have my chosen charity which i donate to through my wages and im damned if i'm going to be made to feel a cunt if i don't donate to others, so chuggers, stop hanging round the fucking checkouts like paul fucking gadd in Toy 'R' Us, where you know people have to pass you at a squeeze, you're really fucking me off.


Fidothedog said...

Ah the old guilt stuff, just take a look at fakecharities.org. The one eyed one takes enough money off of everyone to fund his pet charities.

Therefore you have already paid, so fuck em.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Demand to see their license.