Newport Matters.....

Does it fuck?

Reading through the latest monthly pile of drivel posted through my door by Newport City Council. Well i need a good laugh.



Did i know? Did I KNOW? Well seriously, do you really think i give a frogs fat arse? What the fuck has this pile of arse-water got to do with Newport or even 2010?



Well that's all well and nice, and Newport could indeed benefit from more educational facilities, but what the artist failed to take into account in his impression of the finished article, was the local chavscum pondlife which will be littering every square metre of the campus grounds, throwing up Stella & kebabs, over the railings into the (non existant by the way) permanent high tide that is always depicted in artist impressions of future Newport (to hide the Sainsburys shopping trollies), pissing in doorways, copulating and beating up normal students for being "goffs" and "sweaties"...yes welcome to Newport.


Whilst on the subject of waste recycling, the paragraph by the side of the above pic read as follows:- 'If you recycle your Newport Matters today, it could take as little as a week to be turned into paper for a new edition'...What after i've wiped my curry tortured arse with it you mean? Here, i've got a better idea, why not save paper and energy and not bother printing the garbage in the first place? I'm sure my council tax would be better spent elsewhere, like keeping chavs off the streets?

And lastly, who is paid to come up with this bollocks? The Duke of Gloucester recently re-opened two of Newports' landmark buildings (why him is beyond me but still) the paragraph on one reads :- 'Malpas Court will reopen as a sustainability centre - an exemplar of environmental sustainability and a model of environmental good practice' What the fuck? can anybody explain that heap of arsewank to me? I would be eternally indebted.